At 49 years old I never thought I would be fighting for my life. But here I am with invasive ductal carcinoma. I’ve had alot of time on my hands since my diagnosis….too much. Leaving lots of thought to think…

I spent the first several weeks thinking, “why me?”. I‘m an athlete, great blood pressure, low cholesterol. I’m a non-smoker. I breast-fed my babies. I generally lead a “clean” lifestyle. On top of my health and actions, my family paid our cancer “dues” after losing my 34-year-old brother to cancer.

”Why me?”

The question remained. Was it karma? Was it the underwire bra? I finally asked the question out loud to my neighbor and close friend, “Why me?”. My friend looked me in the eyes, “cancer does not discriminate”. My friend is a 7-year survivor.

Bingo.

”Why not me?”

My number was up.
It was my turn.

I am one of the 8 people I personally know that has or had breast cancer. Four of us on the very same street.

“Why not me”. This change of thought has drastically helped me bear the last two months as I wait to start my fight with cancer. I think of the many women out there who are waiting. I don’t know these women, but I “know” them well…their thoughts, their questions, their wait.

The soonest surgery date available was 2 months away. February 18.

I stopped asking why and started mentally and physically preparing for a bilateral mastectomy and whatever treatments may follow. I’ve got lots to do and asking why wasn’t going to take up any more of my time. So why not me? I’m ready to start my fight!