At 49 years old, I never thought I would be fighting for my life. But here I am with invasive ductal carcinoma. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands since my diagnosis—too much time. It has left me with a lot to think about.

I spent the first several weeks asking, “Why me?” I’m an athlete. I have great blood pressure and low cholesterol. I’m a nonsmoker. I breastfed my babies. I generally lead a “clean” lifestyle. On top of my health and choices, my family had already paid our cancer “dues” after losing my 34-year-old brother to cancer.

“Why me?”

The question remained. Was it karma? Was it the underwire bra? I finally asked my neighbor and close friend, “Why me?” She looked me in the eyes and said, “Cancer does not discriminate.” My friend is a seven-year survivor.

Bingo.

“Why not me?”

My number was up. It was my turn.

I am one of eight people I personally know who has or has had breast cancer. Four of us live on the very same street.

“Why not me?”

This change in perspective has drastically helped me bear the last two months as I wait to begin my fight with cancer. I think of the many women out there who are also waiting. I don’t know these women, but I “know” them well—their thoughts, their questions and their waiting.

The soonest surgery date available was two months away: February 18.

I stopped asking why and started mentally and physically preparing for a bilateral mastectomy and whatever treatments might follow. I’ve got a lot to do, and asking why isn’t going to take up any more of my time.

So, why not me? I’m ready to start my fight.